December Poems

Poems: I Don't Want To Write A Poem // I Think I Lost My Self

Welcome to To Be Seen, a newsletter that explores what it means to be truly understood—in our stories, our struggles, and our joys. Each month, I share poems written for you, my Substack readers. My hope is that you’ll see yourself in these verses and hear the words you need to hear.

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Hello, hello! I’m so glad you are here and very excited to share this month’s poems with you.

I Don’t Want To Write A Poem
by Allison Mei-Li
(after Isabelle Correa)

I don’t want to write a poem

I want to birth a poem

coax it to life 
under a full moon,
screaming  

swaddle a poem 
in muslin cloth

stay up all night 
watching its chest rise

let it make
me crazy

I want to feed a poem
my milk and blood 

til I have nothing left 
to call my own

I want to bathe a poem 

bend and bruise myself 
for a poem

cradle its soft spot
in my open hands

I want to let a poem leave me
before I’m ready

watch it walk away, 
carrying something bigger 

than the sound of my voice

This poem was published at MER Literary in their online folio “Mother/Writer,” which explores the conflicts, confluences, and inspirations between the two roles. You can see it on their website here.

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I Think I Lost My Self

Or maybe she’s out looking 
for someplace quiet, 
where silence hangs like diamonds 
on a dim chandelier. 

Maybe she’s learning 
how to dance flamenco, 
bending her body
into question marks, 
giving answers 
with the stomp of a foot. 
 
She might have left 
for a view of the waves,
or a town without any hospitals, 
because if you see something—
you know it exists, 
and if you can’t see it—
then maybe it doesn’t. 

She’s probably just lost 
in the meadow of her mind, 
where sunlight drips like rain.
She is windswept and wrapped 
in white silk, running toward 
something she can’t name.

This poem began as a response to a prompt by

Maria Giesbrecht

: “Write a poem in the style of a missing person’s ad.” I initially titled it Missing Person and imagined where I might go if I disappeared—a daydream I indulge in now and then. (No pause button on parenting, and all that.)

I then re-imagined the poem through a more “meta” lens. So often, when life changes or becomes especially chaotic, we talk about losing ourselves. Our identity. The part of us that makes us who we are. I loved exploring this idea that the “self” could be personified as a separate entity that we might go looking for.

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And lastly, as a joke, I made this “Gift Guide For The Poet” and shared it on my Instagram. In case we aren’t connected there, you can take a peek at it below.

+ Thank you, thank you, thank you for reading. Please know that every comment, heart, and re-stack means the world and encourages me to keep sharing my work.

+ You can always reach me via email, Instagram, or in the comments section.

Cheers to being seen!